Reasons Why English is Hard to Learn

[Akela]

Not that other languages don't have comparable mishaps, but since we all here speak English, let's poke fun at it.

One has to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which,

1. There is:
- no egg in an eggplant
- no ham in a hamburger
- neither apple nor pine in a pineapple.

2. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
3. Guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
4. Boxing rings are square
5. Quicksand can work slowly
6. You park in the driveway but you drive on the parkway.
7. You ship by truck and send cargo by ship.
8. A slim chance and a fat chance are the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites
9. Your house can burn up as it burns down
10. You fill in a form by filling it out
11. An alarm goes off by going on.
12. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

13. And finally, how about when you want to shut down your computer you have to hit "START!!

 

[Iohannes Aurum]

What about the verb "to table?" In the Commonwealth (including Canada), it means to begin a proposal, but in the United States, it means to end a proposal.

 

[Matthaeus]

I also find it strange that the same word spelt the same in this language, but accented and/or pronounced differently, means something else: record, wind, sow and others. Is that a homograph or homonym? There are also huge inconsistencies in pronunciation (words like preface but interface). One last thing (English being my fourth language), I noticed that the diphthong ea can be pronounced in a myriad of ways: bean, great, ocean, earn, Sean. What's more, the same sound [phoneme] ea may also be represented by e, ee and sometimes even a European i as in mini. Go figure. This all proves English to be an highly weakly phonemic tongue. As a foreigner, this language's grammar is ludicrously simple, but the pronunciation is exactly the opposite. Please share any comments or additions to this list.

 

[Iohannes Aurum]

What about "bow?"

 

[Matthaeus]

Yeah, that too. Any others?

 

[Iohannes Aurum]

There are fourteen correct ways to pronounce "gh" in English depending on the word. According to George Bernard Shaw, ghoti is pronounced "fish," since "gh" has the "f" sound as in "tough," "o" has the short "i" sound as in "women," and "ti" has the "sh" sound as in "nation." Shaw did not invent this.

 

[Matthaeus]

I think that's completely stupid. It should be one letter - one sound, or one diphthong - one sound, at most. Why do people complicate things? I know of no other language that is so inconsistent.

 

[Iohannes Aurum]

This problem is as old as the Great Vowel Shift, as that event brought in the peculiarities in English spelling and pronunciation.

 

[Matthaeus]

I've heard about that. It shouldn't have happened and confused the heck out of millions of non-English speakers! Oh well, history cannot be altered.

 

[Akela]

...Great Vowel Shift...

Several of the vowel pronunciations from the 1400s part of the table looks a lot like modern German.

 

[Iohannes Aurum]

The Great Vowel Shift caused English to go from German-sounding to one that confuses those with English as a second language with many irregular pronunciations.

 

[Akela]

As someone who had to learn English as a second language, I can tell that I would have secretly preferred it remain more German-like.

 

[Matthaeus]

There is no pure English anymore. It has been mixed over the centuries with Latin, French, Spanish, and other vernaculars. Old English was pure English, so let's blame the corruption on William the Conqueror!

 

[Akela]

Agreed

 

[Iohannes Aurum]

Definitely the fault of William the Conquerer who wanted to commit linguicide on the supposedly inferior English language and replace it with Norman French.

 

[Matthaeus]

After that Hastings victory, it was only natural that the conqueror should bring his culture with him, including Norman French, his language. Who cared about English? Languages are often imposed upon, just as Latin was in the annexed provinces.

 

[Iohannes Aurum]

Note that many indigenous languages were also changed significantly due to colonialism, as well as creating creoles to speak with their masters.

 

[Matthaeus]

Suffice it to say that all languages undergo constant, unremitting change. This is a normal phenomenon, it is evolution. That's why we call them 'living' languages. No wonder, since people fashion them at will.

 

[Iohannes Aurum]

Even Latin had evolved when it was a living language.

 

[Matthaeus]

Sine dubio.