Venus venerārī vult vulgo, veniās ventīs vīvificantibus: &c

[bluelux]

I am not fluent in Latin, and I am in need of some help and criticism. I want someone to tell me if there is something wrong with this sentence. I know the sentence itself is not the best way of saying it, and it's an experiment with poetry. I think it is understandable, but I really want a few thoughts about it from someone with more experience with Latin. Please don't laugh if it is completely absurd, and please give me your own translation. Thanks!

Venus venerārī vult vulgo, veniās ventīs vīvificantibus: versiculō venustō vērē velit, ut Vesper vocētur veniatque volāns vīsō vesperæ verbīs lūciferīs vītārum.

The translation I have is

"Venus wishes to be worshiped commonly, and for the graces of the vivifying winds universally: verily she wants a beautiful verse so that Vesper may be invocated and come flying in the face of the evening with words which bring the lights of life."

What is right, what is wrong?

 

[bluelux]

I realize 'versiculo venusto vere velit' may need to be something like 'versiculum venustum vere velit' ... or is the subjunctive wrong?

 

[limetrees]

I think vīvificantis, to agree with ventis.
And why not versiculum venustum, simple accusative, as you suggest?, but the subjunctive seems ok to me.

 

[bluelux]

I think vīvificantis, to agree with ventis.
And why not versiculum venustum, simple accusative, as you suggest?, but the subjunctive seems ok to me.

Thank you, but I must admit I'm confused why vīvificantis, genitive singular, is better suited for ventīs instead of the ablative plural vīvificantibus.

 

[Matthaeus]

Shouldn't the thread title be emended?

 

[bluelux]

Shouldn't the thread title be emended?

What would you rather it?

 

[scrabulista]

ventis then is not from ventus (wind) but rather ventus, past participle of venio (come).

 

[limetrees]

Thank you, but I must admit I'm confused why vīvificantis, genitive singular, is better suited for ventīs instead of the ablative plural vīvificantibus.

quite right. out of weariness after a long long long day I only looked at a couple of lines, but should have known to only do this at all when in my right mind.

 

[bluelux]

ventis then is not from ventus (wind) but rather ventus, past participle of venio (come).

The 'vivifying wind' is of course one's own breath, speech, poetry. This is what I am playing with here. I just have found it interesting. Thanks again

 

[bluelux]

ventis then is not from ventus (wind) but rather ventus, past participle of venio (come).

Okay, are you saying
Venias ventis vivificantibus has two possible meanings, one regarding ventis as a plural past participle and one regarding ventis as a noun?

Could the sentence then be translated like this?

Venus venerari vulgo vult, venias ventis vivificantibus: versiculum venustum vere velit, ut Vesper vocetur veniatque volans viso vesperae verbis luciferis vitarum.

"Venus wishes to be venerated commonly; for graces in vivifying those whom have come, and with vivifying winds universally: verily she wants a beautiful verse so that Vesper may be invocated and come flying in the face of the evening with words which bring the lights of life."

 

[scrabulista]

I guess it could be ventus (wind), but I was thinking that she was wishing graces for those life-making persons having come. Wait for other opinions.

 

[bluelux]

I guess it could be ventus (wind), but I was thinking that she was wishing graces for those life-making persons having come. Wait for other opinions.

Aha! It seems there are a few possible interpretations. The more the merrier imo

 

[Gregorius Textor]

The alliteration is impressive!