Our deity who art in Cybertron

[GoktimusPrime]

Translation request:
THE TRANSFAN'S PRAYER (The Transformers Fanatics' Prayer)
Our deity who art in Cybertron
Primus be thy name
Thy Matrix come
Thy AllSpark done on Earth as it is in Cybertron
Give us this day the toys we seek
And give us our acquisitions, as we assist those who seek to acquire
And lead us not to imitation
But deliver us from knock offs
For thine is the franchise, made by Hasbro, and Takara, for all collectors.
Amen.
Intention: A prayer for Transformers fans in the spirit of the Oratio dominica (Lord's Prayer).
Elaboration: Some words that might need more explaining for context...
Cybertron = Name of the Transformers home planet. In Transformers lore there is a treaty called the Pax Cybertronia, but I don't know if this is "pseudo-Latin" or not. Can "Cybertronia" be an accepted Latin translation of Cybertron? Cybertrona?
Primus = the name of the God who created the planet Cybertron and the Transformers' race (the Autobot insignia is an image of Primus' face)
Matrix = a.k.a. the Creation Matrix. A divine artifact that holds the essence of Primus' anima (Spark) and is able to create new Transformers life.
All-Spark = an extra-dimensional realm that is, basically speaking, the Transformers' equivalent of the afterlife. It is the source of all Transformers' Sparks (anima), a Transformer lives their life (or lives), collects experience and wisdom, then returns to the All-Spark to add to its collective data (known as the "Wisdom of the Ages").
Knock-Off = a counterfeit item (usually toys).
Hasbro = Hassenfeld Brothers; U.S. based company that owns the Transformers brand
Takara = TakaraTOMY; Japanese based company that designs and makes the Transformers toys (and co-owns the brand with Hasbro).
Gender: Masculine robot (male)

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Now here is my (most likely terrible) attempt at translating it, "retro-fitting" by tweaking the Oratio dominica. I'm sure it's chock-FULL of errors (but that's why I've come here seeking help ).

ORATIO TRANSFANICA
Deus noster, qui es in Cybertronia;
Primus nomen tuum;
Adventiat caminum tuum;
fiat candeo totus tua, sicut in Cybertronia, et in terra.

Crepundium nostrum penuriam da nobis hodie;
Et tribuo nobis crepundium nos volo nostra,
sicut et nos succuro alius quisnam peto suum crepundia;
et ne nos inducas in simulatum;
sed libera nos a deceptio.

Quia tuum est suffragium, fabrica per Hasbro, et Takara, nobis quisnam contraho crepundia.
Amen.

 

[Pacifica]

Hello, well, this is my best try:

Transformium amatoris oratio:

Deus noster, qui es in Cybertro
Primus nomine
Adveniat (Matrix*) tua
Fiat (Allspark*) tuum
Sicut in Cybertro et in terra

Crepundia quae requirimus
Da nobis hodie
Et da nobis empta nostra
Sicut et nos adiuvamus
Eos qui cupiunt emere
Et ne nos adducas ad ullam imitationem
Sed libera nos a falsis crepundiis

Quia tuum est (I don't konw how to say "franchise"), Hasbrone et Takara factum, pro omnibus qui crepundia colligunt.

*Matrix is already a Latin word, actually, but it doesn't mean quite the same thing... It means "a female animal, a dam, a parent-tree, or a register..."

*I really have no idea how I could translate "All-spark".

The prayer of the those-who-change-form's lover:

Our god (in Latin it's the same word for "god" and "divinity"), who art in Cybertron
First by the name
Thy Matrix come
Thy All-spark be done
On earth as it is in Cybertron

Give us this day
The toys we seek
And give us our purchases
As we ourselves assist
Those who want to buy
And do not lead us to any imitation
By deliver us from fake toys

For thine is the franchise (when someone, hopefully, comes with an idea how to translate it), made by Hasbro and Takara, for all those who collect toys.

Let's hope someone skilled for neologism coinage will come up with an idea for "Matrix" and "All-spark".

 

[GoktimusPrime]

Ooh, thanks for that effort!

*Matrix is already a Latin word, actually, but it doesn't mean quite the same thing... It means "a female animal, a dam, a parent-tree, or a register..."

In English "Matrix" means "something that constitutes the point from which something else originates, takes form, or develops"
e.g. 'The Greco-Roman world was the matrix for Western civilisation.'

In Transformers it's often called the "Creation Matrix," so the point of origin for creation (life). So can it be translated as meaning "origin of creation" or something in that spirit?

*I really have no idea how I could translate "All-spark".

Okay, how about we translate "Spark" as anima, since that is what it equates to? But of course, in the context of Transformers, the All-Spark is a realm akin to the afterlife.
So can we say "Omnianima regnum"?

Our god (in Latin it's the same word for "god" and "divinity"),

Wow cool! It's the same in Japanese -- the word 神 (Kami) can mean "God" and/or "divinity".
e.g. 神様(Kami-sama) = Lord God, 神風 (Kamikaze) = Divide Wind

For thine is the franchise (when someone, hopefully, comes with an idea how to translate it), made by Hasbro and Takara, for all those who collect toys.

Instead of franchise, how about "product" or "brand"?

 

[Terraphore]

Maybe forma, meaning 'form, shape, mould' might be a brief way to convey (some of) the idea of a matrix?

 

[GoktimusPrime]

*bump*

Can anyone help translate "franchise"?

franchesia?
suffragium?
subfragium?

 

[scrabulista]

I'm guessing that franchesia is just a neologism, coined to look like a Latin version of the English word.

suffragium/subfragium would be "franchise" as in "right to vote."
Of course, I don't think you mean "franchise" as in "right to do business" either.

Maybe the "sports slang" reference -- http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/franchise?s=t...."he's the franchise" = "he's the star player; without him, the business (affiliate in a league of a certain professional sport) would be nothing."

Is this the most valuable toy in the Transformers' product line?

 

[GoktimusPrime]

Franchise as in...
+ Product (opus?)
+ Property (mancipium? mancupium?)
+ Business (res? quaestus?)

 

[Iohannes Aurum]

Here is another definition of "franchise": http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/franchise

 

[GoktimusPrime]

Thanks for that. Based on that, would it be possible to translate any of the following to approximate "franchise"?
+ Right or privilege (suffragium? subfragium?)
+ Ownership
+ Authorisation
+ Jurisdiction
?

 

[scrabulista]

suffragium/subfragium is "vote" (the "franchise" as in "right to vote." - think "suffrage.")

I think you do want Johnny's alternate meaning...."facet of the business" perhaps. "The Bond Franchise" -- meaning each film in the series is a separate outlet, even if the chain is not a franchise in the legal sense.

How do you feel about series? vinculum, catena, jugum = chain;

 

[GoktimusPrime]

Okay, so how does this sound when put together?

Transformium amatoris oratio:

Deus noster, qui es in Cybertro
Primus nomine
Adveniat forma tua
Fiat omnianima regnum tuum
Sicut in Cybertro et in terra

Crepundia quae requirimus
Da nobis hodie
Et da nobis empta nostra
Sicut et nos adiuvamus
Eos qui cupiunt emere
Et ne nos adducas ad ullam imitationem
Sed libera nos a falsis crepundiis

Quia tuum est vinculum, Hasbrone et Takara factum, pro omnibus qui crepundia colligunt.

 

[Pacifica]

To be grammatically coherent, you'd have to say omnium animarum regnum tuum.

For forma and vinculum, well it doesn't mean much, but with neologisms like this... I have no better idea. Or maybe it'd still be better to keep the word matrix after all, even if it of course means something else in real Latin...Don't know.

 

[GoktimusPrime]

Thanks to everyone who helped! Any further advice is always welcome.